I met Richard on December 12, 2024 through Plenty of Fish. I had forgotten about the account, but lately I had been getting many notifications from it. I decided to log in and see why. When I did, I had a message from Richard. We started messaging through the app and when he asked for my number, I felt ok with it. I had done a basic Google search while we were talking that had turned up very little other than he had been on Ghost Hunters and claimed to be a paranormal investigator. Later, I realized finding little to nothing on him should have been a red flag.

He texted and called me that night. It was late and I had to be at work at 6 a.m. so we didn’t talk long. He seemed okay and I gleaned a little more information to pass along to someone for a background check when he had time. He told me he’d been married once and recently divorced, had been a police officer with the Breezy Point Police Department, he had been a bouncer at a club, security for some on the biggest names in country music, was a paranormal investigator, and currently was a district manager for Evolv (a merchant card processing company).

The next day, he said he would be in my town later that night to look at apartments, as he was looking to move. I told him he could call if he wanted. Since it was close to the end of my shift when he messaged asking for the address of the store, I gave him the address figuring it was public and neutral enough place in which to meet.

He seemed very nice and open. Though I will say his description of himself was way off base. He did not resemble a football player, except for his height and the breadth of his shoulders. I hugged him and we bantered in between customers. We were meshing so well that customers were asking how long we’d been married. I laughed, and he played along with it. When my shift ended, he followed me to town, and we went out to eat. He told me he felt a connection and wanted to see where it would go. He told me he was deleting his profile from POF; I told him he didn’t need to do that – I wasn’t deleting mine, and he shouldn’t either. I would deactivate my profile, but I wasn’t deleting it. I could tell he didn’t like that I didn’t agree with that.

I told him I was going to the Outlet Mall the next day for work shoes and to get Christmas gifts. He said he still had shopping to do as well, so I invited him to join me. He said he’d love to and so we met at my house the next day and he drove us to the Outlet. On the way there, he told me how every woman before me treated him like he was an ATM, constantly asking for him to buy them things. Once there, he followed me around Bath & Body Works like an eager puppy. I headed to the register to check out and he whipped out his card and paid while I struggled to get mine out telling him, “Stop! These are gifts!”

I was upset and told him he was not there to pay for my things. He was to complete his shopping, and I would finish mine. He went into the shoe store with me where I picked out a couple of pairs of shoes I needed for work. Again, he pulled out his card and paid. I was near fuming and highly irritated. I headed off to the Christian bookstore. I picked out a couple of Psalms daily devotional books for women, a new bible for myself, and a little flip calendar for my desk. Richard’s feet were hurting, so he was sitting outside on a bench. I figured I could get to the register and pay before he could get up. Wrong. He was standing there waiting and he again paid, overriding my protests.

I tried to talk to him about it, but he shut me down saying, “You have a Richard now. I’m supposed to take care of you,” or “You have a Richard now. I can take care of some of the burdens.” It was always, “You have a Richard now!” I call it his “catchphrase” since every woman he’s been with has heard this ad nauseam. I finally told him that perhaps he felt like an ATM was because he tried to pay for things he had no business shelling out for; that I didn’t ask him to pay for my shit and didn’t appreciate him butting in constantly. He acted the injured party, and I let it go.

Everywhere we went, everyone said my husband was so gentlemanly and asked how long we had been married. I’d given up trying to tell people we weren’t saying, “Oh, so long I’ve forgotten.” He told me he was going to go to Walmart and get a wedding ring, and I laughed when he asked if I minded. I played along, “Sure, go ahead. Why not?” not believing he would do such. I was wrong. He showed up at my work the next day with a ring on, claiming he had been at a pawn shop and seen it; he bought it since it fit. He lied. I later found out it was the ring Lori had bought him when they got married.

(This is a work in progress. I may include the text messages sent between us, but I have not decided on that yet.)